My Mom’s team was driving an old Dodge caravan that my brother had found after her car gave up the ghost.  Lots of room for the wheelchair but it was getting harder for my Mom to make the big step into the car.  Plus the car was acting up and I had fears that my Mom would be stranded on the side of the road.

I need to back up.  What was Mom doing that she needed a good car? Was she not locked safely in her home?  After my Dad died Mom’s life was full of activity.  Every day there were outing to the grocery store, the park, the beach, the museum, a cup of coffee and cake and dancing! This was nine years into Alzheimer’s and life was full!

I was confident this would be easy!  I would hop online and google ’best cars for the handicapped’ and find a list of amazing options.  With an aging population this information had to be readily accessible.  Car dealers had to be marketing directly to this group!  When I looked – not so.  Trips to the car lot with Mom would be required.

I hated doing this as when I was with Mom I just wanted to visit with her and find fun stuff to do but I often was saddled with appointments and chores.  Once we were driving from some appointment and I asked Mom if she still knew who I was.  This was a question I seldom asked.  She looked at me with her clear blues and a small smirk on her face and said, “Sure I know.  You’re the one that is always organizing me!”  Ouch.  But there was so much truth in those words.

Back to car shopping. The salesmen would try and tell me all the amazing features of the car and took forever to understand that the ONLY important thing was getting in and out on the passenger side and fitting a wheelchair in the back.  Who cares about mileage, warranty, and racy colors? My Mom did not have a good warranty or low milage and with her cataracts, the racy colors were lost on her.

I pre shopped and then brought Mom to the dealer on the final selection to be sure we had the right fit.  It was more like buying shoes than buying a car!  You have never seen a person less interested in getting a new car.  Are we done yet?  Why are we driving in circles? Where was the stop for ice cream and coffee? What was wrong with the first car I got in and out of? Can’t we go! Now!

Finally, we selected a 2018 KIA Soul.  A boxy little car with a big passenger door that Mom did not bump her head-on.  Close to the ground so she could get out with both feet on the ground and did not have to slide to reach the ground which aggravated her hips. But high enough that she was not pulling her self up and out of the car. Her depth perception was hit and miss and sometimes we had to place a bright colored piece of paper or carpet on the ground so she could perceive the bottom of the endless pit that we were heartlessly asking her to step into.  The seat was fairly square with a straight back.  Bucket seats are just too hard to wiggle forward in.  With a soft swivel or just a piece of dry cleaner plastic Mom could swing her legs in quite easily. Car problems solved!

Little did I know at the time that Mom would quit walking and dancing in just four months.  The car would go back to the dealer at a significant loss and my dear brother did not say a word.