Mom’s cataracts were slowly getting thicker and her world was getting darker.  Surgery would require anesthetic which was bad for her brain. The recover required lots of drops and keeping her hands away from her eyes. And I had to make this health decision for her.

After the visit to the local surgeon I tried wearing two pairs of sunglasses for a while to see how I felt.  The brain adjusts to the reduced light but nothing is clear.  Mom was still dancing and enjoying life but having more trouble seeing and feel anxious so I went for it.

After an exhaustive search for a doctor that would not use too much or any general aesthetic we booked an appointment for surgery at a private clinic in Vancouver.  This gave me the option of choosing the time and date that fit best into my life as I was still working.

Mom did it! I was her coach. While in the surgery her brain seemed to sharpen under the stress and she was gold.  Angels guided the surgeons’ hands.  Whenever she wiggled the tools were clear of her eye.  We came out of surgery and Mom was offered a snack and drink.  Then the nurse looked at me and realized I was in much worse shape and quickly guided me to a chair before I toppled over.

And…after a complex regime of drops Mom would not open her eyes for the next two months.  I was devastated at having done the wrong thing and putting Mom through this trauma.

Then slowly her eyes started to open and we were graced with their dazzling blue directness and kindness and blessed with her smile as she could see us more clearly.

Sometimes I did the wrong thing, sometimes I did what seemed to be the wrong thing, and sometimes it all turned out well in the end.  Regardless of what I did and how it turned out I was doing my best for Mom.  The cataract surgery was one of the hardest things I did and I do not regret it as it showed me a capacity that I did not know I had.  It would have been easier to say nothing could be done at her age and brain state and let her continue to slide into darkness.  It was not the easy road and it still makes my stomach a bit queasy when I think about it but it was the right path for Mom.