The last year, during the palliative stage, when I was not with Mom she was always on my mind.  She was on very few drugs but we were prepared for whatever happened.

We live in a small town so planning ahead was critical as access to drugs would be limited on the weekend.  We were ready for whatever Mom might need.  In the end, she needed very little and Mom passed easily but until then I could give people a chuckle.

They would ask how Mom was.  I would say she was palliative and they would express their sympathy.

I would reply, “No worries, it is not all bad.  With Mom having Alzheimer’s it is hard for her to express how a drug might be affecting her.  I have been sacrificing myself to test her drugs.  A little CBD oil, a hint of morphine, a touch of Ativan with a top up of THC and all chased with a glass of wine.  It is all sooooooooooooogood.”

This is a concern for overworked caregivers and I strongly suggest you keep track of the drug supply and keep it locked away and monitored.  My drug of choice on this journey was exercise and nature along with an amazing support team and my mother’s incredible blue eyes that would see thru me to my soul.