Mom was always friendly and warm and willing to give the best hugs.  Along with her brain having a best before date that was long past so were her arteries well past their best days.  She had almost lost her foot to artery disease a few years previous and we were on our way back in the Kelowna for a follow-up appointment.  I learned to plan slowly and was running a bit late.  Making good time I took advantage of the passing lane up a hill and passed a bunch of cars….and on the crest of the hill was immediately pulled over by the police.  “License please mam.  Do you know how fast you were going?” Sheesh…I am looking after my mother!  Can’t he see my angel wings!  What is this harassment! He hands me a ticket for $120. “Drive safe, take it slower, have a nice day” As we pulled back into the heavy traffic, even later than before, my Mom reframed it for me, “He seems like a nice man!”   Sheeeesh!!!

The Doctor’s appointment did not go well and we ended up having to stay the night.  That evening we were slowly walking along the waterfront, enjoying the breeze.  A man in his late 40’s was leaning on his bicycle near a patio bar.  He was smiling.  Mom gravitated to his smile and returned it with one of hers. “You look like someone I know” she said and moments later I found the three of us in a warm embrace.  He was a total stranger and simply accepted my Mom’s hug.  I was uncomfortable at first, this was my Mom who lacked proper social boundaries and then I just rolled with the moment.  Everyone needs hugs!  Perhaps we should all let go of some of our social boundaries.  As we left this happy pleasant man we came across two ladies sitting on a bench.  Mom smiled warmly and I could see them stiffen and shy away from her. New wrinkles forming instantly on their scrunched faces.  We seem to want to hide our elderly and demented away as though their disease was contagious.  Mom’s only crime was being too friendly.

In Calgary this past November as I was putting a few boxes in the garage, just across the lane a homeless man was looking in garbage cans for bottles.  I called him over to give him a big bag of change that was rattling around in my purse. “It looks like you are having a rough time.  Here, these are for you.”  He said, “Hey, thanks.  Would you like a hug?”  His embrace was warm and not too smelly. It made me think of my Mother and the lesson I had learned.