I had no understanding of what I was getting into as the journey evolved.  The beginning was just spending more time with Mom and taking her to specialist appointments five hours away in the city.  As the disease progressed it involved advocating and fighting my father for the best possible care for Mom.  Later it was team management and then finally palliative care.

Once I made Mom a priority and allowed the other things in my life to fall into second and third place it was much easier.  I also used acupuncture to relieve stress and I live in nature and I ran.  I ran my way through tears and anger and found peace every time on the other side.

I ran on trails in the forest surrounded by nature and this was very much an important part of remaining well.  Of course, running on trails had risks.  My husband thoughtfully purchased for me a back catcher mask to protect my teeth from the rocks and carefully wrapped me in bubble wrap.  That final year I fell hard four times.  I like to think that if your knees look like a twelve year olds you are still in the game!  Still playing hard but in fact my focus was pretty much shattered.

Somewhere along this journey my left eyelid developed a serious droop.  I asked my optometrist what could have caused it and she replied with, “How old are you? 55 hmm… Your boobs droop, your eyes droop. Nothing to worry about.”  I never notice the condition as when I looked in the mirror my eyes were always wide open!  It was my friends that pointed this out.  Worth heeding what they notice about your stress responses.

The droopy eye worked out quite well as the other eye is a little more open than normal. The combination is not exactly what I would hope for but it has its benefits.  When I face my husband with the droopy eye it looks a wee bit sexy and sleepy and is now my, “Come to bed honey’”eye.  The wide-open scary eye is, ‘Take the damn garbage out!’  In our marriage communication has never been easier!