For a week every fall Mom would often come up to visit me in my home.  Dad dutifully brought her halfway and we transferred and I brought her to my home.

We were in high spirits and looking forward to some mother and daughter time.  Unfortunately since my last visit Mom had changed yet again.  She could not settle in a different place. She knew me but had never been to this strange place in the wilderness.

Night fell and I gave her sleeping medications anticipating a good sleep.  We were in the same room just in case she needed my help.  Oh my, every half hour the entire night Mom was up.  At 2:00 and we made blueberry jam.  At 6:00 am I begged her to just stay in bed for thirty minutes.  I showed her the clock and pleaded for her to just stay there until both hands were on the top.  So sweetly, “Of course dear”.  Bing, up in five minutes.

How she could function on no sleep was a mystery to me but whenever I make jam I think of Mom.

Managing Mom’s sleep patterns so Dad could rest was the beginning of in home care and locks on the doors.  Dad was so resistant to help and the lack of sleep was leaving him in a disgruntled and angry fog.  Sleep deprivation for the care givers is worse than offering continuous care during the daylight hours.  Get the help you need as you can’t help if you are exhausted.